Tag Archives: cocktails

Insouciance

4 Aug

When you have a baby, that you stop working for a few months to be a mother and a “housewife”, especially when you’re not used to (either of) it, as the days go by, each day seems like the day that preceded it. You do the same things over and over again. Your conversations seem dull compared to your working friends. Daily entertainment limited. Intellectual level low. Weekends seem like week days and you find yourself day dreaming more and more of holidays in far away lands under coconut trees with cocktails in your hand and George Clooney sitting by your side…

Life is not boring, don’t misunderstand me, only so (oh so) different. And by the time that you get used to it, you’re back to work, you see your kid only for short periods of time in the evening and the weekend and before you know it, poof, he’s off to college !! (Well, Hugo has a few 17 years and 6 months left before packing his bags, which is a relief I must admit as I’m telling myself I’d like to see the outcome of my constant diaper changing). I do realize, as so many keep telling me, that I’m lucky to see him change and grow (and when I think of it, 5 months ago he wasn’t half of the baby he is today) Witness his first laughs, see him catch objects, turn on his stomach, then fight his way back on his back. Talk baby talk. Grow from 0M to 3-6M old cloths…

In the meantime, I have lost my job. The company I was working for shut down and so far, no job to return to. I know I’ll miss Hugo as of September as he’s the only thing I’ve known since March, but at the same time, I know I’ll be happy to find some sort of independence again as I truly need it !!… Did I mention that “very much” !?

My mom told me not so long ago she felt like there was an elastic band holding us together when I was a baby. She could go that far without me but at some point she was being pulled back to her “duties and responsibilities”. I understand that feeling only so well now. In no way do I question the love that I feel for both my baby and my husband, but this situation can feel like a burden at times…

Tonight I went out for drinks with a dear and old friend of mine I haven’t seen in a real a long time and what seems to be a former life… All my men were left at home. Just me, my friends and cocktails. This reminded me I should be doing this more often… Would every night be ok ?

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